my father said

the world is shades of gray

not black & white

 

he said find your truth

whatever that may mean

 

he said be the ruler

of your kingdom

 

you still have time

as long as you still have

breath

 

you are not less

 

until you begin

believing you are

 

these days

I didn’t know the shadows behind your eyes were real,

I’m sorry I thought

You were ever faking

 

You breathe into every day and I don’t know

How you manage

 

There’s courage in you that you don’t even know

There’s a love in you

 

That you can let out if you just trust in us

 

I won’t hurt you, dad

 

You’ve been hurting for too long

 

I forgive you for what I am responsible for forgiving

 

I can’t save you from the anger of others

You’ve wronged over the years

 

Your intentions misguided though sometimes achingly

Pure

 

When I hear your voice now

I sense a different man has emerged

 

You are still in so much pain

But now you’re trying so hard

To stop trying to numb it

Enough to realize you’ve been relying on all the wrong

Vices

To save you

 

We’ve been here all along

 

And we won’t give up on you now.

I promise.