My fingers brush his
As I take the pass
I never know whether to feel
grateful
even as I murmur thanks
Because the world will be
silenced for
a little while
So I take long drags &
My lungs take painful breaths
In between
I’m the girl my mother always hoped for
& I’m the girl my mother always warned about
I’m teetering on a thin rope
But the smoke
Eases my weight
I breathe
I’m nobody’s girl
when I’m like this.
I would catch the ends of his sentences
when he’d just about given up
on his voice
& he’d put his arm around my shoulders,
tucking me right in like I belonged
and that was enough
We were safe in each other
even in the deep end
I would touch his face
just to prove he was still there
He said once
that he felt like we were too good
to be true
and he was right
because somewhere
along the way
love stopped being enough
It’s okay, darling
It’s okay
You’re enough
You don’t need to stretch
So dangerously thin
You don’t need to hold back from
the trembles in your mouth
You don’t need to shy away
from anything
It’s okay, darling
And it also will be.
nancyornot 