my father said

the world is shades of gray

not black & white

 

he said find your truth

whatever that may mean

 

he said be the ruler

of your kingdom

 

you still have time

as long as you still have

breath

 

you are not less

 

until you begin

believing you are

 

not enough love

I thought I could live inside your smiles

that I could absorb your happiness

 

and use it to warm

my tepid heart

 

I hollowed myself out

transformed into a shell

 

to love you the way

you needed to be loved

 

I emptied

 

until there wasn’t enough

 

love left over

for me